We say it all the time.
“How are you?”
“Oh, I’m ok.”
Translation: Let’s not go there.
It’s the universal autopilot answer. A mask. A way to dodge messy truths and keep everything looking neat and tidy. We assume our friends are ok. We assume we’re ok. Unless something dramatic is happening – breakup, a meltdown, a career implosion – we rarely look beneath the surface.
But let’s be real: “ok” is often just code for coasting through life with the volume turned down.
The Trouble with “Ok”
Here’s the thing about “ok”: it’s not bad, but it’s not exactly alive either.
It can mean:
- I’m tired but don’t want to talk about it.
- I’m bored out of my mind but hey, the bills are paid.
- I don’t want to scare you with my real answer, so here’s a safe one.
- I don’t want to appear negative, but if you only knew.
We smile, nod, do the things, check the boxes. But “ok” keeps us stuck in the shallows, pretending the deep end doesn’t exist.
Why Don’t We Dig Deeper?
Ever noticed how rarely we actually ask? Like really ask?
Maybe we’re afraid of the answer. Maybe we’re just assuming they are fine. Maybe we’re terrified of holding someone else’s pain. Or worse, our own. Maybe it just feels easier to stay a little bit numb, scrolling TikTok and calling it “self-care.” (Guilty!)
But easier isn’t the same as connected. And it sure isn’t the same as alive.
A Curiosity Check
So here’s your nudge: where in your life are you just going thru the motions – and thinking you are “ok”?
- Work? Just clocking in and zombie-shuffling out?
- Relationships? All polite smiles, no real juice?
- With yourself? Skipping the inner check-in because you’re not sure you want the real answer?
This isn’t about shame. It’s about curiosity. Ask. Poke. Peel back the layers. Because underneath “ok” is usually something way juicier.
Tools to Bust Out of “Ok”
Want to spice up your connection to yourself (and others)? Try these simple practices:
- The Pause & Ask: Catch yourself saying “I’m ok”? Pause. Three breaths. Then ask: Ok compared to what? What’s really here?
- Upgrade the Question: Instead of “How are you?” try: What’s been lighting you up? What’s been weighing on you? (Watch the magic happen.)
- The Energy Body Scan: Close your eyes, sweep through your body, and notice where things feel tight, heavy, or flat. Place a hand there. Whisper: I’ve got you.
- Journal the Juicy Stuff: End your day by writing: Where did I just go through the motions today? Then: What would bringing presence look like tomorrow?
Beyond “Ok” – Live Your Life ALIVE
Life is too short to be fine. Too precious to be meh. Too sparkly to settle for “ok.”
So next time you catch yourself on autopilot, get present with it. Ask the deeper question. Take a breath and receive the truth. Because “ok” might be common, but real, alive, connected? That’s where the good stuff is.
