Waiting until…xyz just prolongs your pain
We love to bargain with life, don’t we?
“I’ll leave when it gets really bad.”
“I’ll try to feel joy once my body finally behaves.”
“I’ll start meditating when things slow down.”
“I’ll be happy when I lose the weight, get the job, or find the person.”
It sounds responsible, even smart. Like you’re trusting that the right moment will arrive. But really, waiting until is just code for “I don’t want to face what’s here right now.” And the longer you wait, the more your pain gets to run the show.
Here’s the kicker: waiting until (something happens that isn’t here now) is actually resistance dressed up as patience.
That relationship that drains you? Waiting until you’ve gathered enough “proof” only prolongs the ache.
That chronic illness? Waiting until it’s gone before allowing yourself to have some fun, or feel joy, only deepens your despair.
That restless whisper in your chest? Waiting until things are less chaotic doesn’t make it quieter, it makes it so freaking loud.
But here’s the paradox (and the liberation): the key to ending suffering is not rushing into action, t’s presence.
Presence doesn’t mean you settle or accept a crappy situation forever. Presence means you stop fighting what’s here. You stop pretending you’re fine. You stop trying to fast-forward to some future where it all makes sense.
It’s in the actual feeling the grief, the exhaustion, the longing that clarity is born. Sometimes that clarity says: “Leave.” Sometimes it says: “Find joy in the small things, even if your body still hurts.” Sometimes it simply says: “Stop waiting until...”
Because when you are with what is, instead of trying to bypass it or put it on layaway, the way forward becomes unmistakably clear.
So let me ask you:
Where are you bargaining with life?
Where are you waiting until, when you could be showing up now?
The truth is, you don’t need the perfect conditions. You just need willingness.
And trust me, willingness will carry you farther than waiting ever will.
Love,
Stacia
